for the day
when our pain is far behind
on your feet
come with me
we are soldiers stand or die
Save your fears
take your place
save them for the judgement day
fast and free
follow me
time to make the sacrifice
we rise or fall
I'm a soldier, born to stand
in this waking hell I am
witnessing more than I can compute
pray myself we don't forget
lies, betrayed and the oppressed
please give me the strength to be the truth
people facing the fire together
if we don't, we'll lose all we have found"
Ghost in the Shell - Rise
so my day was normal, boring. i have sub all week for US history because my teacher just got married and he's on his honey moon. he didn't seem to excited before he left, i hope he has a good time. yesterday and today we had to do book work. i'm so tired of random people asking me for my work to copy. do they realize what they're asking? the way i see it they're asking use me, so they don't have to do shit. when this girl asked and i said no she looked surprised even though my friend told her right before that i wouldn't let her do it. i don't see why she was offended, i didn't let my friend copy. it's not right that everyone thinks i should give my work out that i worked hard on and they did shit but what a good grade or how they can ask me when we're not friends or anything. more than half the time the people asking me for my work don't talk to me and i don't know there names. more than once the first words they ever said to me were "think i can copy you" ugh. it helped venting to amber yesterday so when i got asked again today i wasn't as mad.
so last night i some research into birth control because i thought i should get myself on it soon. i'm not planning on having sex but i'd much rather be safe than sorry, yah know? my sister is pregnant and that's something that i don't want to be. she's only seventeen, that's younger than me. (i'm eighteen) my aunt used to be on the depo shot and i thought about that but it causes you to gain lots of weight most of the time and i don't really want to take a pill everyday and risk forgetting about it. so after yahooing birth control options i think i've decided on what i want to use. it's called ortho enra but more commonly known as the birth control patch. you put it on for a week and change it every week for three weeks then go one week without when you have your monthly. i've been trying to get a hold of my grandma so she can help me with it. she works at a hospital and i don't really want my mom to know about it. (my grandma is way better than my mom in somethings) i don't want to ask my mom about it and get "the talk" even though i'm clearly mature enough to know everything i need to and i don't need her telling her husband.....nope don't want that. plus i can already she her jumping to conclusions. my aunt did when i asked her if my grandma could help and that was bad enough. 
i was hoping to talk to someone today on the phone. i just felt the need to hear someone's voice and to talk about anything. i didn't have any luck, and i called a lot a people. i started with my grandma, taryn was cooking, dez was more into his important video game, daniel (ex step dad) was a work (oops), jediah (my lil brother) didn't answer, nica (daniel's wife) was at the store and not even my mom wanted to talk to me when she got home. so i felt kinda like a loner, it sucks. i feel like when i really want or need to talk to someone the universe gets in my way. why o why universe? i've finish babysitting and i think soon i'll eat and go to sleep.i had running again today, it's torture. on the plus side i'm still doing it and plan to keep going. so i haven't lost motivation yet even though my uncle told me it's pretty much crazy for me to be doing it. apparently since i have asthma i can't possibly do anything sporty or try to get into shape or do anything active. jerk. i'm just going to stick it out until i can walk or run and jump all over his words! ha ha the boot camp thing sucks even more than just running the track but i still came home and worked out a bit more since i left early by accident. (my teacher gave me the wrong time) i'm sure i'll be sore tomorrow but it'll be a good sore and i'm going to keep it up! XD
i'm happy i get to see my friends on halloween. kam is such a great guy he's going to come and pick me up so i can spend time with them. amber rented a kid and we are going trick-or-treating! it will be epic i know it. i'm not sure what i'm dressing as since i have school that day and am already dressing up for that. i'm not sure if i want to change or not. for school i'm recycling a costume idea from a few years ago. i'm wearing a dress with spades and hearts on it, a crown, splattered blood and going to say i'm like the queen of hearts daughter. the queen of hearts is psychotic so why wouldn't her daughter be? hence the boold....murder lol (mostly i just like blood hehe) if i feel like it maybe i'll shower and change into my puppet/doll thing costume, without the heels.wow didn't think i had much to say.........
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