i met someone on craigslist a few days ago and my mom is freakin out on me. she thinks i'm going to meet the craigslist killer or something, i like to think i'm smart enough not to meet a serial killer. i don't plan on meeting him anytime soon and if i do it would be in some secluded place by myself. i admit it is weird meeting someone online but this isn't the first time i've talked to someone online and then ended up being good friends. my friend dez i met on myspace, i have know him for what is going on five years now and i still haven't met him in person. he live in DC which is way far from me, i don't know if i'll get to meet him but he has been a really great friend to me and always listens to me complain when i need to vent. i don't see the harm in meeting a person online if your smart about it and what you give out.


i had a great time yesterday! from the moment i woke up i knew it was going to be a good day, i'm not sure how but i just had this feeling like "today is going to be something to remember." it was. i went to shay's house while i waited for amber to finish chores and some mom and daughter time. it was funny because right when i walked up to shay's door she txt me. i laughed before ringing the door bell and giving her grandma a surprise. we talked and she forced me into a tumbler account. i don't really know what to do on it but i'm going to try and keep it going so she is happy. i was on it today and it took me fifteen minutes and the help section to figure out how to put a profile picture >.< and i thought i was computer savy....guess not lol

after being on the internet for a bit we went to the park. i love parks, and swings, i can swing forever. i don't why but i just love them. well i guess i know why, it makes me feel free in a sense and detached from my problems and the world around me. i like the feeling of almost flying though i'm afraid of heights, go figure. haha. i haven't seen shelby (shay) in months, since a graduate party, it was kool to catch up. every time i talk to her and we go into the depths of our being it amazes me at how we ended up where we are now. i like to think we're good friends but i know it wasn't always like that and its kinda a miracle we're friends now. we have been though some stupid friend drama like most kids and i'm glad that we didn't talk to much while we we're still really immature. now that we've kinda grown up i think it's easier for us to except each other for who the other one is and not to fight so much.

after awhile amber joined us while her dog. i just don't understand why dogs like me sometimes. i'm a cat person but dogs and animals in general get attacked to me sometimes. her dog thought my lap was the perfect place and proceeded to climb on me lol i'm glad that shelby and amber got along. i think they bonded a big over the dislike of someone else. not gonna say who cuz its kinda messed lol i love it when my friends get along and i wish it could happen all the time, but unfortunately it doesn't. i got lucky yesterday or not, i have great friends.

it was fun introducing both amber, shay and kam to the Yes Dance. the yes dance is AMAZING! i want to learn it and make a video about it too. like the video below. just to do it, the original is great to but i like this one because they group is cosplaying black butler characters.

i got to see aaron last night as well, it was very unexpected and i'm glad i wore pants yesterday. while leaving amber's i called my mom to tell her i was on my way home and she told me i could stay to finish the movie we started. i didn't feel like having to go back inside after leaving and aaron txt me to see if i wanted to hand out. of course i did, i always want to see him; does he not understand that? guess not since i won't say that to him. so i met him a his park (we both seem to have something about parks) it was way cold. i'm not used to the cold after moving to the south valley. it was nice to see him and i love when he holds me close like he'll never let go. i know it's true even in the moment i'm always thinking about how he's going to leave me and i won't hear or see him in weeks. i hate what we have but can't seem to move on because i'm scared and love it too.

i thought meeting someone online would help me move one but it hasn't at all. just made me think more about what to do and how i'm to scared to do it. i want aaron, but my gut tells me i shouldn't. i feel like a hoe or something for trying to move on with someone else but holding on until  i know what's happening. i'm not dating either one, but that doesn't make it okay. what do i do? i don't know. hope i find out soon.....